Hal, Fantasyland’s resident executioner, is technically among the wealthiest individuals in the entire country, beaten narrowly by Jimp, chief bailiff, who is himself second to Dolores, the Queen of Fantasyland herself.

As was the case in medieval times (which is still of course the era Fantasyland is currently and forever stuck in) Executioner is among the most lucrative and selective practices. The caveat is that the executioner is totally shunned by the rest of the society, frowned upon by both church and state for the inherent brutality and unpleasantness of executing people. Once selected, the executioner was, and is, viewed as basically a macabre weirdo and disallowed with participating in casual interactions. Thus, Hal is forced to live in a small shack just outside Fantasyland’s southernmost gate (reserved specially for the import of foreign goods) where he spends his days watching commerce, merchants moving in and out of the city carrying all sorts of items that he can afford but is sadly blacklisted from buying. Because the crime rate in Fantasyland is relatively low, Hal doesn’t even get the opportunity to execute much of anyone—when he does, however, he absolutely relishes it, and usually preserves the decapitated or choked/purple heads of the perished and builds cute (not actually really that cute at all as I’m sure you can imagine) little straw ‘bodies’ for them so that they can act as artificial friends and houseguests.

Luckily, Hal was somewhat of an introvert before becoming the executioner, exhibiting many of the tendencies of your typical murderer shut-in. If he hadn’t wound up with this job, he probably would’ve become some sort of serial killer, making sick perverted statues out of his illegally killed victims instead of his legally killed criminal ones. Basically, Hal has a very sad, isolated life, and his only friends are dead people. His house smells like actual hell even from the outside, and he will probably never feel human touch or connection ever again. Please don’t feel bad for him, though: his life might seem sad to us, but to him it’s an absolute riot. If a sane person were in his situation, they would probably want to die. Not Hal. Hal never wants to die. It sounds demented, but I can guarantee you that (relatively) he’s having a much better time than the rest of us.