Cornea the Naked Samurai and his circus of biomechanical freaks bear down on the last known coordinates of the last known genuine human-beings in the western hemisphere, zeroing their location to a small settlement somewhere in the general neighborhood of Idaho and Washington State.

If you look closely, you may be able to spot identical twins Eddy and Cooper Ross—hailing originally from Chicago Illinois, which has long since crumbled to ashes—hiding somewhere just dangerously out of view. The recent prominence of artificial organs has made genuine ones something of a rarity, a treasure sought out for its value and historical significance. So Eddy and Cooper are basically specimens, two of the roughly six-thousand people left in the world who are less than 43% artificial, this being the widely-accepted ‘authenticity threshold’ by which individuals are determined to be truly or falsely ‘human.’  And the word “human” in every known dictionary has been appended with a set of quotation marks, making it so that usage of the word without them (the quotation marks) is technically grammatically incorrect. The only part of human anatomy which remains common and readily-available is flesh, which will soon be phased out in favor of Flesh-*Chemical*.

Can you see them? Eddy and Cooper Ross of Chicago Illinois? If so, you can count yourself more perceptive than the much feared Naked Samurai and his freak robot goons, which each fall wayyyy below the authenticity threshold, the most ‘authentic’ of the group is of course the Naked Samurai himself, who is exactly 40% “human,” a ratio for which he prides himself greatly. Cooper and Eddy Ross, for comparison, are a staggering 89% and 99.9% human, respectively, Cooper having lost his missing 11% to two artificial adductors (brevis and magnus) in his right leg, which were replaced after a traumatizing incident involving a tree and a chainsaw in like the fourth grade.